Thursday, September 20, 2012

gentle discipline

More wisdom from "Beyond the Sling".

A common misconception about gentle discipline is that it encourages and allows children to do whatever they want' that they will rules the house and become spoiled and dictatorial tyrants who hold us hostage with their every whim. This is not what gentle discipline is all about. Gentle discipline is not permissive parenting, which implies that parent and child are peers. Rather, gentle discipline is an umbrella term that describes a cooperative method of relating with and communicating your needs to your child while respecting his needs at the same time.

Gentle discipline can be used to achieve whatever structure you seek to establish in your home. Most families who practice gentle discipline still require children to be polite, considerate, and responsible...  ... The difference is the way parents and children relate, the way language is used, and the way relationships are built up so that when children grow into adults themselves, they connect with their parents in loving and healthy ways, based on the foundations of gentle discipline that were established when they were young.


I have saved this one for last, because I find that it is the hardest of all the parenting tools to discuss. With all due respect to all styles of parenting, violence against a child baffles me. The only relationship in society in which you are allowed to hit or spank another person is the one with your child; you can't spank your husband or your wife. You can't spank your teachers or your friends, and you most certainly can't even adopt a pet in most states if you say that you plan to use spanking as a disciplinary measure. What is it about hitting children that has come to have such a sacred and almost revered quality in our society?